this isn’t done.
this was something that was written in 2002 about a girl who had broken my heart only a year prior. it was unfinished. i added a few things towards the end recently. it may still be unfinished.
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These feelings are gone, are carried away by the person you gave them to. lips so soft, hands so little, heart so big… eyes that could kill if you look deep enough. old girlfriends, never see the one you gave your heart to again. nothing is good or great. girls come, girls go, some will wonder, some will forget. i wanna forget or do i i i i wanna be free, free to wonder, free to follow our hearts from falling, falling on you like a piano dropped from the window. that’s what love is like. love is hurt because without hurt it can not be love.
our hearts are hollow are free of feelings. do not know how to be nice, to be kind, to think how it feels to be in love, to feel your heart flip when you see her, hear her, think about her, how it is to be loved, feel loved, be sweet, be free, be comfortable, to have possession of another’s heart, to have the power to make it, break it, to have that heart in place of your own, for your heart to be in her chest to beat, to turn and tumble with every breath and when she breaks it, shatters it, crushes it, the pieces are so small you need a microscope to see them and now your chest is empty cause she stole her heart back and kept all the shards of your own heart with her because only she has the power to piece them back together but she won’t, she’s moved on. So it’s up to you to slowly recapture and rebuild your heart, to glue it, to let it harden against everyone because you know it’s unstable. You’ve learned a lesson the hard way. And your friends, your friends who love you or at least you think they do, but when you tell them the story, when you spill your guts, you say my heart is empty because of her and you cry and scream. By yourself you heal, you mend, you will never love again and then one day this girl somehow comes back into your life with her arms that look so capable and strong and before you know it, you’re about to fall again. you want to be with her, play all your favorite music for her, sleep with her, but in the literal sense cause that’s so much more beautiful, more natural so innocent not messy or complicated but you can’t cause you’re scared to be near someone to get close. But you look at her and you want this unreachable thing, you know it’d be great and then you’ll give her your heart again with it’s hardened glue…
